York Region Housing Plan - Fed - Ex

Newmarket's new woman's shelter

The Tea Brewhaha Party has announced its plan for affordable housing using York Region as its potential test model to roll it out in should they get a candidate elected.

With York Region about to finish building its newest women's shelter, this one hopes to shelter homeless single women from across Ontario, the Party brass wondered where the women would go after their two week stays were up, given the lack of affordable housing for singles in York Region with a 12 - 18 year waiting list for social housing, and the least amount of apartments / home owners ratios in the entire country?

"Our plan includes labeling the person in a certain category such as Aboriginal or Muslim or Italian and then having the person shipped to any housing anywhere in Ontario set up specifically for their type", spokesperson and candidate Tomasino Paessano relayed yesterday, adding,

" Hey, you want housing, you gets what you gets. We tink it's fair and den people can live in harmony with dere own types."

Told this seemed segregational and possibly racist or a human rights violation Paezzano replied,

To be run by Salvation Army Church

What are you talking about? This is the existing model we have now. We're just offering to pay the costs to gets em dere. Why should an aboriginal be in a shelter here when we can ships em to an existing available home on a reserve, or a Muslim have to use a shelter run by Christians whens we can heave em housed wit der own kind."

Footnote: York Region / Ontario does indeed have assisted social housing wherein you must be a certain "type" to get in including the aforementioned " communities".

Tea Brewhaha at Party Announcement

Paezzano readies for press conference

Rooters, UPS; Special Deliver; Toronto, Canada

Tomassino Paezzano came out swinging yesterday at a news conference, demanding the fledgling Tea Brewhaha Party be given official party status and a spot in the federal election debates, literally, as he knocked down his own speech writer like a scene out of The Three Stooges while overheard yelling,

" You idiot! I'll give dem so many lefts dey'll be begging for a right!"

When Paezzano finally gathered his group together he shouted,

" Dis is an outrage. We demand a spot with da big boys. Our pockets are as full as anybody's and in dis country dat makes us equals...or something like dat".

Reminded his party had no official status nor anyone anywhere voted in, ever, he replied,

" Mrs Paezzano" with Tomassino after his swanky conference

" Hey, what are ya new? We're new. Cut us some slack heea. Don't means we can't compete. Da people has to know about us and dis is one way to do it. Besides dey need new blood in da oval office or whateva its called."

Told the polls already indicated a new party is likely taking office, he replied,

" See. Dat's my point. Peoples wants's change and we wants's to give it to's 'em."

Tea BH Party announces anti-terrorism plan

Rooters; UPS; Newmarket, Ontario, Canada

TP gets serious in Ottawa

The Tea Brewhaha Party today announced their policy on combating home grown terrorism with party leader Tomassino Paezzano declaring the party would, " Annihilate da bastads", through a series of raids.

"Foist we wants to hit em where dey hoits by knocking out dere power, den dey will have no choice but to come to approach and when dey do, bam! We nail-em. No one is going to be terrorizing neighbahoods by growing low grade medicinal pot from households whilst I'm in govament"

TP licks 1st sap of season to open Pancake Breakfast

Told home grown terrorism had to do with Islamic extremists like ISIS and not " illegal" medicinal marijuana growers, he froze for a moment, twitched his upper lip and added,

"Seriously? I knew dat, I knew dat..I meant extreme Rastas..not as well known as ISIS and dem guys but nevadaless terrorist-like and cause for concoin we tink."

Informed that Rastafarian was actually a peace loving religion he replied,

"Yea, dat's what dey said about Muslims."

Crickets could be heard at that point.

Tea BHH Party Announces Position on Foreign Swear Wear

Tom Mulcair

Tea Brewhaha leader Thomasino Paessano announced yesterday in Toronto that he has almost come to an understanding with Thomas Mulcair and the Federal NDP Party to join them in a merger need be in the next election. Reminded their party had yet to elect a single candidate in any riding, Paezzano the self claimed multi-millionaire replied,

" Details, details. Our polls tell us different...and we tinks we gots a pretty good shot."

TDSB Trustee Ausma Malik

Paezzano, who managed to infiltrate a recent NDP rally in order to make his plea personally to Mulcair, declared they and the NDP were close to a deal but that the official opposition leader wanted concessions to the Tea Brewhaha's proposed "anti-newby" legislation they've managed to have someone raise in parliament  asking that Scottish kilts and tams be officially exempt from being excluded from any Canadian swearing in ceremonies.

Informed they already could, Paezzano looked semi stunned for a second before stammering,

Jennifer Hollett

" What? Well dat's not what da Scottish community is telling us. We're bein' told dey get freakin' mocked when dey wear da kilts and tams, never mind da freakin socks, and with the recent naqim or naqib or whateva controversy, dey wants no future problems with wearing tams and da like. Freak, naqib isn't even on  da freakin' spell check! Anyway I have confidence Mulcair will come around and if not we'll just work on buying off, er I mean tying off Trudeau's people..Capeche?"

Paezzano sneaks in with lighting crew

Asked about his meeting with Mulcair, Paezzano mumbled they didn't have time to talk in length, but that an understanding came to pass between them while both were in the bathroom to further chat at a later date.

" Besides", said Paezzano, "Dat chick hostess in da short red dress was freakin' smokin"

Told comments like that were sexist and that Mulcair would not condone such talk, Paezzano rolled his eyes, blew upwards at his hair, and retorted,

Mulcair sticks finger in Paezzano's ear while revealing an NDP secret

" Freak, can't even give a dame a compliment dese days witout the patrol on my case. I never even said she was sexy. I may have thought it, but I never said it wit my mouth. Out loud I mean. You know whats I means." before adding, " It's like da white element in da room."

Asked, "The white elephant you mean?", Paeassano stuttered slightly before replying, "Whateva", you knows whats i means." before exiting the conference.

Tea Party Brewhaha promises to End Homelessness in 100 Days

Paezzano in Ottawa a bust

The Tea Brewhaha Party recently announced its plan to end homelessness called, the 100 Day War on Homelessness. In the plan, the party promises to eliminate homelessness completely within 100 days by using a combination of collaborating entities that come together to root out homelessness from the ground up. So says party President and spokes- person Tomasino Paezzano in announcing the components contained in their " battle plan",

"Dese Sonobitches will be homed if it's dah last breath I takes", stated Paezzano at a recent media scrum to announce the new plan,

"If we haves to drag 'em, to save dere asses - like a war guy saving a fallen ally - den dat's what we gonna do." adding,

Trust him, Tea Brewhaha's President looks politician-like

"We've used enough trendy toims like, collaboration, sustainability and diversity, to choke Linda Lovelace. Er, maybe I'll rephrase dat, being wit all da sexual harrassments and such dese days... to choke a gay gu....er..ah...neva mind what it chokes! All I know is it's inclusive of all da woids we was supposed to be inclusive to."

The plan, which apparently calls for rounding up anyone homeless and shipping them to an as yet undisclosed ' camp", where they will be purportedly dried out from substances cold turkey and forced to fight for limited amounts of food and shelter strategically located in the remote northern location all of which will be videotaped for a reality tv show to be sold to the US markets.

It's final stage component is known as Operation Canberia, to be a joint China - Canada initiative, with agreements set in place to allow the Chinese to glean any free labour they can from from factories set up on the island in lieu of allowing Canadians to do trade business with Chinas booming  market which is artificially induced using slave labour. It is rumoured they will offer the homeless men, and some women, noodle packs and rice jerky in order to entice.

Says Paezzano of the apparent trade-off of rights for the sake of doing business, " Hey, let's face it, nobody wants dese guys as is, dat's why we don't build enough shelters or homes for 'em or provide 'em wit enough to buy food. And da whole woild is clamoring over itself to do business with China and da States so we got both while only sacrificing people no one really cares about. Hey, I'm just doing what da people want. Der actions have spoken".

Tea BHH Party Announces Amendment to Proposed Bill

Rooters: UPS: Immediate Release: North America

Concerns people will purposely hunt down road kill prevail

The Tea Brewhaha Party announced plans today to amend their previously announced, so called, "Roadkill Bill", to include feeding the poor by allowing for food banks to accept so called "road kill" which would be fed through meal programs to the needy.

Concerns around contamination from the health ministry in regards to the transportation and preparation of the road kill were met with blank stares by T.Bhaha Party President Tomasino Paezzano,

Domestic animals too?

"Look, don't yous guys watch TV? What's dat cussin British Chef guy always preaching? Fresher is better? Eat local, etc, all dat stuff? So don't tell me I'm in da wrong." Adding, 

"Besides, I've been working on a plan wit' Toronto Mayor Ford in regards to some special additions to da menu which we'll be announcing at a future date. I can't say too much at dis time, but let's just say we will also be eliminating another animal problem at da same time. No frickin' animals are going to hold my town hostage. These things don't even freakin' blink".

Easter dinner for the poor?

The controversial Paezzano, who also announced plans to open a " Right Wing Rehab Center" called the Rob Ford Clinic recently, then unveiled two new street name changes to help demonstrate a spirit of cooperation between the Mayor and Police Chief Blair. 

Informed the Chief has announced his plans to resign and polls have Ford in third, Paezzano seemed stunned for a moment before saying, " Yea, well dat's your opinion," hopping into a waiting limo and driving off.

York Region Police Open Training Centre for Zapping

Laser Play "lair headquarters"

Tomasino Paeazzano, Leader of the Tea Brew Ha Ha Party came out swinging - or shooting rather - with a laser gun at a news conference he called to denounce the York Region police announcement that Y.R. police would now have the ability to use laser or electric zappers on unruly apprehendees.

Said Paezzano, 'Giving cops da right to zap people is like giving sharks da right to feast on a bust open whale gut. Ok maybe dere's no connection, but zapping is definitely bad news. Who's to say dese coppers won't use it like dey did in da old days - on dere balls...and wit equal right dese days vaginas"

Paezzano continued his news conference by unveiling pictures of what he described as a secret lair being used by local police to train in laser combat for use in controlling unruly citizens.

Told they were pictures of a new laser tag entertainment location in town called Laser Play, and not a secret mission, and some off duty officers had stopped in for some fun he looked " shocked" for a moment before replying,

' Yea, right, and I suppose da lasers don't hurt".

Laser Play is located at 1805 Leslie St Newmarket, Ontario, Canada. 
Maybe it is a training location. Check it out for yourself! 905-895-6340