Tea Party Announcement - Brewhaha with a Burqa

'Homely women" will love it, says Paezzano

Oct 27 2015;

UPS; Rooters;

Toronto, Ontario, Canada,

Tomasino Paezzano announced today a proposal for National  Burqa Day to, in his words, " Show support for dem types dat wear dese tings. You know, an all inclusive type deal. Like a buffet".

Told free women would be offended as the burqa represents oppression of women to many, he replied,

Party studying the "Jerka" for men hood sold separately

" Fiddle Faddle. I tinks women will enjoy supporting da 3 or 4 othas across da country who insist to wear the full ting, and at da same time, get a day off from using foundation...not only dat, imagine frowning at someone you normally wouldn't, like your mate, or smiling at someone forbidden...Hey, it gives dem an outlet for a day..who knows maybe da husbands will take it to da bedroom Y'mean? Capeche?...Hey don't knock it unless you've tried it."

Told some may find this offensive Paezzano, the controversial supposed "self-made-man" millionaire leader of the fledgling Tea Brewhaha Party, shrugged and replied, " Whatya gonna do?", then jumped into a waiting limo while looking at his watch, pointing at it like it was going to explode, and leaving.

Tea BHH Party reveals partial Election Strategy

Rooter; UPS; Toronto, Canada

No more free reading for goody goodies

The Tea Brewhaha Party revealed part of their election platform today after months of speculation and excuses. Tea BHH spokesperson Tomassino Paezzano revealed, at a hastily called news conference, that their tax strategy would be called The Robin Good strategy...

" Heh,heh..get it? Like Robin Hood, but Good..hehe..yea I taughta dat myself...heh heh. Anyways, Dis entails taxing everything good for you with a sort of a tax..Well, not sort of, it is a tax.

Now all doughs goody goodies will get der fair share of taxation type tings and all dat too....By my calculations, dis will collect an extra...trillion dollars in revenues, more den enough to line our pockets er.. line up rockets...Er..yea..da space program..also our Greenback Program..but we'll get to dat anudder time. Until den, take oot eas'." After which jumped into a waiting limo, saluted, and left.

Fresh air is for goody goodies - tax it in parks says TBHH Party

Free music on the street? Not with TBHH's  new street music pleasure tax.

Clockworks Orange - Anti-Terrorist Plan Tea BH Party reveals

Big Brother listening

Rooters; UPS; Ottawa, Ontario, Canada;

Tea Brewhaha Party leader, Tomassino Paezzano, announced the TBH plan to crack down on terrorism including what they call, "Clockworks Orange", referring to the orange jump suits one presumes the caught terrorists would be wearing.

The multi-point plan includes flagging every family with someone bearing the name Muhamed, or any facsimile of it, as well as creating "no go zones" that Canadians will not be allowed to go to including Russia, Serbia, most middle east countries, North Korea, China, Chechnya, Viet Nam, Pakistan, parts of Germany and possibly Greece...depending. Some paintings inside parliament, and statues, including 'gargoyle types, would be fitted with cameras and bugs in the plan.

Says Paezzano on his run for leadership of the country,

" Hey, I was de original. Trump is nuttin but a cheap freakin copy and a bum. He couldn't build a freakin' wall if I fronted him bricks, mortar, and a bribe. Me, I could, no problem, Er, ah, I mean...Let me tell you about our Clockworks Orange Plan which spots potential future bomb makers, through identifyin' dere early years interest in clocks. Hey, intervention before indeterminate detention I always say... Well, I don't always say that, and, actually dat was hard fo me but..(clears throat)... Anyway! As I say, we tink we're on da rights tracks."

Informed Canadians don't actually wear orange in our jails either he looked briefly confused, or disturbed, before replying,

 " Yea well dat will change too under Paezzano leadership....No orange who eva hoid a such a ting. Ridicoolus.""

Paezzano would fit seagulls with recording devises

York Region Housing Plan - Fed - Ex

Newmarket's new woman's shelter

The Tea Brewhaha Party has announced its plan for affordable housing using York Region as its potential test model to roll it out in should they get a candidate elected.

With York Region about to finish building its newest women's shelter, this one hopes to shelter homeless single women from across Ontario, the Party brass wondered where the women would go after their two week stays were up, given the lack of affordable housing for singles in York Region with a 12 - 18 year waiting list for social housing, and the least amount of apartments / home owners ratios in the entire country?

"Our plan includes labeling the person in a certain category such as Aboriginal or Muslim or Italian and then having the person shipped to any housing anywhere in Ontario set up specifically for their type", spokesperson and candidate Tomasino Paessano relayed yesterday, adding,

" Hey, you want housing, you gets what you gets. We tink it's fair and den people can live in harmony with dere own types."

Told this seemed segregational and possibly racist or a human rights violation Paezzano replied,

To be run by Salvation Army Church

What are you talking about? This is the existing model we have now. We're just offering to pay the costs to gets em dere. Why should an aboriginal be in a shelter here when we can ships em to an existing available home on a reserve, or a Muslim have to use a shelter run by Christians whens we can heave em housed wit der own kind."

Footnote: York Region / Ontario does indeed have assisted social housing wherein you must be a certain "type" to get in including the aforementioned " communities".

Tea Brewhaha at Party Announcement

Paezzano readies for press conference

Rooters, UPS; Special Deliver; Toronto, Canada

Tomassino Paezzano came out swinging yesterday at a news conference, demanding the fledgling Tea Brewhaha Party be given official party status and a spot in the federal election debates, literally, as he knocked down his own speech writer like a scene out of The Three Stooges while overheard yelling,

" You idiot! I'll give dem so many lefts dey'll be begging for a right!"

When Paezzano finally gathered his group together he shouted,

" Dis is an outrage. We demand a spot with da big boys. Our pockets are as full as anybody's and in dis country dat makes us equals...or something like dat".

Reminded his party had no official status nor anyone anywhere voted in, ever, he replied,

" Mrs Paezzano" with Tomassino after his swanky conference

" Hey, what are ya new? We're new. Cut us some slack heea. Don't means we can't compete. Da people has to know about us and dis is one way to do it. Besides dey need new blood in da oval office or whateva its called."

Told the polls already indicated a new party is likely taking office, he replied,

" See. Dat's my point. Peoples wants's change and we wants's to give it to's 'em."

Tea BH Party announces anti-terrorism plan

Rooters; UPS; Newmarket, Ontario, Canada

TP gets serious in Ottawa

The Tea Brewhaha Party today announced their policy on combating home grown terrorism with party leader Tomassino Paezzano declaring the party would, " Annihilate da bastads", through a series of raids.

"Foist we wants to hit em where dey hoits by knocking out dere power, den dey will have no choice but to come to approach and when dey do, bam! We nail-em. No one is going to be terrorizing neighbahoods by growing low grade medicinal pot from households whilst I'm in govament"

TP licks 1st sap of season to open Pancake Breakfast

Told home grown terrorism had to do with Islamic extremists like ISIS and not " illegal" medicinal marijuana growers, he froze for a moment, twitched his upper lip and added,

"Seriously? I knew dat, I knew dat..I meant extreme Rastas..not as well known as ISIS and dem guys but nevadaless terrorist-like and cause for concoin we tink."

Informed that Rastafarian was actually a peace loving religion he replied,

"Yea, dat's what dey said about Muslims."

Crickets could be heard at that point.

Tea BHH Party Announces Position on Foreign Swear Wear

Tom Mulcair

Tea Brewhaha leader Thomasino Paessano announced yesterday in Toronto that he has almost come to an understanding with Thomas Mulcair and the Federal NDP Party to join them in a merger need be in the next election. Reminded their party had yet to elect a single candidate in any riding, Paezzano the self claimed multi-millionaire replied,

" Details, details. Our polls tell us different...and we tinks we gots a pretty good shot."

TDSB Trustee Ausma Malik

Paezzano, who managed to infiltrate a recent NDP rally in order to make his plea personally to Mulcair, declared they and the NDP were close to a deal but that the official opposition leader wanted concessions to the Tea Brewhaha's proposed "anti-newby" legislation they've managed to have someone raise in parliament  asking that Scottish kilts and tams be officially exempt from being excluded from any Canadian swearing in ceremonies.

Informed they already could, Paezzano looked semi stunned for a second before stammering,

Jennifer Hollett

" What? Well dat's not what da Scottish community is telling us. We're bein' told dey get freakin' mocked when dey wear da kilts and tams, never mind da freakin socks, and with the recent naqim or naqib or whateva controversy, dey wants no future problems with wearing tams and da like. Freak, naqib isn't even on  da freakin' spell check! Anyway I have confidence Mulcair will come around and if not we'll just work on buying off, er I mean tying off Trudeau's people..Capeche?"

Paezzano sneaks in with lighting crew

Asked about his meeting with Mulcair, Paezzano mumbled they didn't have time to talk in length, but that an understanding came to pass between them while both were in the bathroom to further chat at a later date.

" Besides", said Paezzano, "Dat chick hostess in da short red dress was freakin' smokin"

Told comments like that were sexist and that Mulcair would not condone such talk, Paezzano rolled his eyes, blew upwards at his hair, and retorted,

Mulcair sticks finger in Paezzano's ear while revealing an NDP secret

" Freak, can't even give a dame a compliment dese days witout the patrol on my case. I never even said she was sexy. I may have thought it, but I never said it wit my mouth. Out loud I mean. You know whats I means." before adding, " It's like da white element in da room."

Asked, "The white elephant you mean?", Paeassano stuttered slightly before replying, "Whateva", you knows whats i means." before exiting the conference.