Tea Party Announcement - Brewhaha with a Burqa

'Homely women" will love it, says Paezzano

Oct 27 2015;

UPS; Rooters;

Toronto, Ontario, Canada,

Tomasino Paezzano announced today a proposal for National  Burqa Day to, in his words, " Show support for dem types dat wear dese tings. You know, an all inclusive type deal. Like a buffet".

Told free women would be offended as the burqa represents oppression of women to many, he replied,

Party studying the "Jerka" for men hood sold separately

" Fiddle Faddle. I tinks women will enjoy supporting da 3 or 4 othas across da country who insist to wear the full ting, and at da same time, get a day off from using foundation...not only dat, imagine frowning at someone you normally wouldn't, like your mate, or smiling at someone forbidden...Hey, it gives dem an outlet for a day..who knows maybe da husbands will take it to da bedroom Y'mean? Capeche?...Hey don't knock it unless you've tried it."

Told some may find this offensive Paezzano, the controversial supposed "self-made-man" millionaire leader of the fledgling Tea Brewhaha Party, shrugged and replied, " Whatya gonna do?", then jumped into a waiting limo while looking at his watch, pointing at it like it was going to explode, and leaving.

Tea BHH Party reveals partial Election Strategy

Rooter; UPS; Toronto, Canada

No more free reading for goody goodies

The Tea Brewhaha Party revealed part of their election platform today after months of speculation and excuses. Tea BHH spokesperson Tomassino Paezzano revealed, at a hastily called news conference, that their tax strategy would be called The Robin Good strategy...

" Heh,heh..get it? Like Robin Hood, but Good..hehe..yea I taughta dat myself...heh heh. Anyways, Dis entails taxing everything good for you with a sort of a tax..Well, not sort of, it is a tax.

Now all doughs goody goodies will get der fair share of taxation type tings and all dat too....By my calculations, dis will collect an extra...trillion dollars in revenues, more den enough to line our pockets er.. line up rockets...Er..yea..da space program..also our Greenback Program..but we'll get to dat anudder time. Until den, take oot eas'." After which jumped into a waiting limo, saluted, and left.

Fresh air is for goody goodies - tax it in parks says TBHH Party

Free music on the street? Not with TBHH's  new street music pleasure tax.

Tea BH Party announces anti-terrorism plan

Rooters; UPS; Newmarket, Ontario, Canada

TP gets serious in Ottawa

The Tea Brewhaha Party today announced their policy on combating home grown terrorism with party leader Tomassino Paezzano declaring the party would, " Annihilate da bastads", through a series of raids.

"Foist we wants to hit em where dey hoits by knocking out dere power, den dey will have no choice but to come to approach and when dey do, bam! We nail-em. No one is going to be terrorizing neighbahoods by growing low grade medicinal pot from households whilst I'm in govament"

TP licks 1st sap of season to open Pancake Breakfast

Told home grown terrorism had to do with Islamic extremists like ISIS and not " illegal" medicinal marijuana growers, he froze for a moment, twitched his upper lip and added,

"Seriously? I knew dat, I knew dat..I meant extreme Rastas..not as well known as ISIS and dem guys but nevadaless terrorist-like and cause for concoin we tink."

Informed that Rastafarian was actually a peace loving religion he replied,

"Yea, dat's what dey said about Muslims."

Crickets could be heard at that point.

Tea Party Brewhaha promises to End Homelessness in 100 Days

Paezzano in Ottawa a bust

The Tea Brewhaha Party recently announced its plan to end homelessness called, the 100 Day War on Homelessness. In the plan, the party promises to eliminate homelessness completely within 100 days by using a combination of collaborating entities that come together to root out homelessness from the ground up. So says party President and spokes- person Tomasino Paezzano in announcing the components contained in their " battle plan",

"Dese Sonobitches will be homed if it's dah last breath I takes", stated Paezzano at a recent media scrum to announce the new plan,

"If we haves to drag 'em, to save dere asses - like a war guy saving a fallen ally - den dat's what we gonna do." adding,

Trust him, Tea Brewhaha's President looks politician-like

"We've used enough trendy toims like, collaboration, sustainability and diversity, to choke Linda Lovelace. Er, maybe I'll rephrase dat, being wit all da sexual harrassments and such dese days... to choke a gay gu....er..ah...neva mind what it chokes! All I know is it's inclusive of all da woids we was supposed to be inclusive to."

The plan, which apparently calls for rounding up anyone homeless and shipping them to an as yet undisclosed ' camp", where they will be purportedly dried out from substances cold turkey and forced to fight for limited amounts of food and shelter strategically located in the remote northern location all of which will be videotaped for a reality tv show to be sold to the US markets.

It's final stage component is known as Operation Canberia, to be a joint China - Canada initiative, with agreements set in place to allow the Chinese to glean any free labour they can from from factories set up on the island in lieu of allowing Canadians to do trade business with Chinas booming  market which is artificially induced using slave labour. It is rumoured they will offer the homeless men, and some women, noodle packs and rice jerky in order to entice.

Says Paezzano of the apparent trade-off of rights for the sake of doing business, " Hey, let's face it, nobody wants dese guys as is, dat's why we don't build enough shelters or homes for 'em or provide 'em wit enough to buy food. And da whole woild is clamoring over itself to do business with China and da States so we got both while only sacrificing people no one really cares about. Hey, I'm just doing what da people want. Der actions have spoken".

Tea BHH Party Announces Amendment to Proposed Bill

Rooters: UPS: Immediate Release: North America

Concerns people will purposely hunt down road kill prevail

The Tea Brewhaha Party announced plans today to amend their previously announced, so called, "Roadkill Bill", to include feeding the poor by allowing for food banks to accept so called "road kill" which would be fed through meal programs to the needy.

Concerns around contamination from the health ministry in regards to the transportation and preparation of the road kill were met with blank stares by T.Bhaha Party President Tomasino Paezzano,

Domestic animals too?

"Look, don't yous guys watch TV? What's dat cussin British Chef guy always preaching? Fresher is better? Eat local, etc, all dat stuff? So don't tell me I'm in da wrong." Adding, 

"Besides, I've been working on a plan wit' Toronto Mayor Ford in regards to some special additions to da menu which we'll be announcing at a future date. I can't say too much at dis time, but let's just say we will also be eliminating another animal problem at da same time. No frickin' animals are going to hold my town hostage. These things don't even freakin' blink".

Easter dinner for the poor?

The controversial Paezzano, who also announced plans to open a " Right Wing Rehab Center" called the Rob Ford Clinic recently, then unveiled two new street name changes to help demonstrate a spirit of cooperation between the Mayor and Police Chief Blair. 

Informed the Chief has announced his plans to resign and polls have Ford in third, Paezzano seemed stunned for a moment before saying, " Yea, well dat's your opinion," hopping into a waiting limo and driving off.

TP Opens The Rob Ford Clinic - Rehab Centre for right wingers

TP courts NDP Leader Andrea Horwath

The "No Gravy Room"

Rooters; UPI; Immediate Release: Tea Brewhaha Party President #Tomasino Paezzano today announced his intention to run provincially in the election. Paezzano, a  professed self made millionaire and immigrant from "somewhere in Europe" made the expected announcement after cutting the ribbon to his newest venture called "The Rob Ford Clinic", an airport wing shaped rehab centre for "right wing politicians and senators".

                           Asked about his chances of gaining a seat over the more known parties including the surging upstart Greens, TP replied,


" I got dem freakin' saps right wheres I wants em. Da Cons is cracking up due to der name sakes and will spend da campaign explaining da feds' lies, while da Liberals gots oil all over dem, and da greens is too green right now to win. Dat leaves da NDP, and last I hoid she was single. Remember Belinda Stronach? Capeche? Y'mean?" before winking and adding,


"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a rehab centre to invent."