Tea Brewhaha party Green Plan

TPE NEWS - Newmarket, Ontario, Canada

Paezzanos car is trashed for the Tea Brewhaha's party policy

Tea Brewhaha party leader Tomassino  Paezzano announced some of his party's green platform today. Included in it was a mandatory scrap your car week, during which everyone would take transit. Dubbed the " trash-car program", the party estimates it will help reduce greenhouse gasses by up to 70% for that week.

When told our transit systems are not able to handle all the extra business, and therefore many or most will be unable to get to, or be late for work, costing likely billions (nationally) in lost production and wages Paezzano reportedly said, " Really? Billions? You serious? I don't frickin think so. Millions maybe, but dats woith it to us. You know, to like, save de environments and stuff".

Party plan to use Clint Eastwood scuttled

Custom made masks from Myers Costumes cancelled

The Tea Brewhaha party has had it's plan to intimidate voters by having election scrutineers wear cardboard masks that resemble Actor Clint Eastwood and then have them repeat out loud to no one in particular "Go ahead, make my day" scuttled. If voters looked at them upon hearing the utterance they were then instructed to whisper, "You feel lucky?"

TB Party to use " We Want You" U.S. Army style party recruitment campaign

Said Paezzano reportedly, I don't see why not? Dees udder paaties is all just jealous dey dint tink of it foist". Adding, 

"We went by da rules with no party colours, we wasn't planning to tawk to anyone directly, and I tought dey allowed burkas things so what's da diff?", in an apparent references to the veto on his use of masks in the polls.

Despite the setback, the party plans to continue in it's quest to get someone elected somewhere...anywhere by adopting another American icon for its campaign.

TPE NEWS