Tea Party Brewhaha promises to End Homelessness in 100 Days

Paezzano in Ottawa a bust

The Tea Brewhaha Party recently announced its plan to end homelessness called, the 100 Day War on Homelessness. In the plan, the party promises to eliminate homelessness completely within 100 days by using a combination of collaborating entities that come together to root out homelessness from the ground up. So says party President and spokes- person Tomasino Paezzano in announcing the components contained in their " battle plan",

"Dese Sonobitches will be homed if it's dah last breath I takes", stated Paezzano at a recent media scrum to announce the new plan,

"If we haves to drag 'em, to save dere asses - like a war guy saving a fallen ally - den dat's what we gonna do." adding,

Trust him, Tea Brewhaha's President looks politician-like

"We've used enough trendy toims like, collaboration, sustainability and diversity, to choke Linda Lovelace. Er, maybe I'll rephrase dat, being wit all da sexual harrassments and such dese days... to choke a gay gu....er..ah...neva mind what it chokes! All I know is it's inclusive of all da woids we was supposed to be inclusive to."

The plan, which apparently calls for rounding up anyone homeless and shipping them to an as yet undisclosed ' camp", where they will be purportedly dried out from substances cold turkey and forced to fight for limited amounts of food and shelter strategically located in the remote northern location all of which will be videotaped for a reality tv show to be sold to the US markets.

It's final stage component is known as Operation Canberia, to be a joint China - Canada initiative, with agreements set in place to allow the Chinese to glean any free labour they can from from factories set up on the island in lieu of allowing Canadians to do trade business with Chinas booming  market which is artificially induced using slave labour. It is rumoured they will offer the homeless men, and some women, noodle packs and rice jerky in order to entice.

Says Paezzano of the apparent trade-off of rights for the sake of doing business, " Hey, let's face it, nobody wants dese guys as is, dat's why we don't build enough shelters or homes for 'em or provide 'em wit enough to buy food. And da whole woild is clamoring over itself to do business with China and da States so we got both while only sacrificing people no one really cares about. Hey, I'm just doing what da people want. Der actions have spoken".