York Region Housing Plan - Fed - Ex

Newmarket's new woman's shelter

The Tea Brewhaha Party has announced its plan for affordable housing using York Region as its potential test model to roll it out in should they get a candidate elected.

With York Region about to finish building its newest women's shelter, this one hopes to shelter homeless single women from across Ontario, the Party brass wondered where the women would go after their two week stays were up, given the lack of affordable housing for singles in York Region with a 12 - 18 year waiting list for social housing, and the least amount of apartments / home owners ratios in the entire country?

"Our plan includes labeling the person in a certain category such as Aboriginal or Muslim or Italian and then having the person shipped to any housing anywhere in Ontario set up specifically for their type", spokesperson and candidate Tomasino Paessano relayed yesterday, adding,

" Hey, you want housing, you gets what you gets. We tink it's fair and den people can live in harmony with dere own types."

Told this seemed segregational and possibly racist or a human rights violation Paezzano replied,

To be run by Salvation Army Church

What are you talking about? This is the existing model we have now. We're just offering to pay the costs to gets em dere. Why should an aboriginal be in a shelter here when we can ships em to an existing available home on a reserve, or a Muslim have to use a shelter run by Christians whens we can heave em housed wit der own kind."

Footnote: York Region / Ontario does indeed have assisted social housing wherein you must be a certain "type" to get in including the aforementioned " communities".

Tea Party Brewhaha Explains War on Women declares War on Family Planning

Rooters; Ottawa, Ontario, Canada; UPS;

Tea Brewhaha Party President, Tomasino Paezzano, declared last night his statements that, " More women are needed in da home work force", and "women are da backbone of our baby makin' " were made to reflect the growing need for our society to "get back to basics", adding,


" Let's face facts. Men can't have da babies, much as dey try. Gay or not. So Women control dat situation. Our program evens da playing field up a bit and offers incentives to push women back into da homes and bedrooms, and we tink it will not only help increase the population type tings here, but as well, encourage more nurturing and stable-like environments. You know, kinda like hoases. Pet em every now and den, ride em, feed em and every ting's okay."

Told the definition of "stable' translated differently into English than his plan, which also includes making it mandatory for all non-child bearing women over 27 years of age to be housed at a state of the art women's shelter, and then put to work as " volunteers" in their " Step Back program" in the legal casinos he has planned as part of his " economics-type programs" appeared to be sexist, and would bring people back into the 60's era as far as women's rights, he replied,

" Yea, well, what was wrong wit "Leave It to Beaver" and "Bewitched" and "Lucy". Everyone knew dese women belonged at home and when dey ventured out dey gots hoit and in trouble - every time - and da families suffud. We shoulda loined from dem."

Informed they were not real people and only t.v. shows written by writers, Paezzano, known for his outrageous stunts, who claims to be  "independently wealthy" and hail originally from "somewhere in Europe", looked stunned for a second before responding,

"Pff..Yea...den explain Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Charles Bronson, Sylvesta Stallone and Aunode Swarzzenegga.

We couldn't.